Escaping the Blacks
by d60kit
Summary: Once upon a time Andromeda Black grieved for the family she had lost. It took a long time for her to realise that she had never truly lost them, could never truly escape them. Now with DH spoilers
1. Part 1: The First War

_Disclaimer: Doesn't belong to me._

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_Andromeda Black thought she had lost her family the day she gave away her name and they began to ignore her existence. At the time, although she never regretted her decision, she even grieved for her loss. It took her a long time to realise that she had never truly lost her family, that she would never truly escape them._

Regulus was the first one to fall. It was not widely reported and so she only learned of his death a week later in a note from Sirius, who had recently become too busy to visit her even on, or especially on, an occasion like this. She had never been close to Regulus as she was to Sirius but she remembered him as well-mannered, somewhat shy boy who was always eager to please and definitely too young to die. Despite what he had done all she felt for him was pity and a sudden choking sensation when she realises that she could easily have been in his place. She walked around her new home, finding family photos and mementos to look at, touch and cling to, reminders that she had left the Blacks behind.

The second blow was by far worse. She was cooking breakfast, humming to herself contently because the Dark Lord had fallen and there was no need for fear anymore. When the owl arrived she reached for the _Daily Prophet_ happily, excited that this was the first time in years she did not have to be afraid of the day's news. Except her cousin cackled manically at her from the front page. Sirius. The only one she had left. The only one of them who had visited her home, befriended her husband, played with her daughter.

Andromeda read the article three times then she carefully folded the paper and placed it in a kitchen drawer. She finished preparing breakfast, saw Ted off to work and took Nymphadora to the park. When she arrived home there were two letters waiting for her; one from a concerned Ted offering to leave work early if she needed him, the other from the Ministry of Magic asking her to visit their offices as soon as was convenient was her. She decided that the present moment was convenient enough; Nymphadora still had her coat on and she herself was too numb to care what was happening.

She kept her report answers brief, bland and unemotional. No, she had never suspected Sirius of any wrongdoing. No, he had never mentioned a plot against the Potters. Yes, it was possible he had been lying to everyone for months. Yes, it was more likely he would turn to the Dark Arts given his family background. Walking away from the office, Andromeda was lost in thought when Nymphadora managed to fall over her own feet and almost crashed into an ugly, but probably extremely expensive, statue that adorned the corridor. A man walking in the opposite direction caught the girl before she could hit the floor and Andromeda went to thank him before she recognised him as Sirius' friend Remus Lupin and her eyes were magically drawn down to the floor. She had to shake herself for a moment, remind herself that she was not betraying Sirius because he had already betrayed her and everyone else. In fact, from the way Lupin had averted his own eyes she guessed he was at the Ministry for a similar purpose as her. She stammered a few words of thanks, took her oblivious daughter's hand and they all hurried away.

The next time her family arrived in the morning paper it was Bella, and while Andromeda was sickened she was also not surprised, and that perhaps was the worst part. This time there was a trial which she did not attend, and when Ted told her the result she nodded absently as though he was merely telling her the weather report. Still, her family's faces appeared in her dreams even more often than usual and she was grateful that few of her and Ted's friends knew who her family were. It was much better for Nymphadora at least if no one connected Andi Tonks to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

---


	2. Part 2: The Waiting Game

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There had been twelve years of peace. Andromeda had watched her daughter grow up, watched herself and Ted starting to grow old and could almost believe that the past was simply a bad dream. Even when Nymphadora announced her intention to become an auror, her mother was not terribly worried. Of course it was not the career path that any mother would have chosen for their only daughter, especially someone like Andromeda who knew better than most what kind of people were out there. But her daughter had definitely inherited the Black stubbornness so Andromeda barely tried to discourage her child, tried to be supportive and reminded herself that it was safer to be an auror then than it ever had been before…

-

_The first to escape from Azkaban_. If anyone were to manage the impossible it would have been Sirius Black, but of course his cousin had never considered this. It felt horribly familiar, as though the past twelve years had never happened, as she stood there in her cosy kitchen staring down at the _Daily Prophet._ The past had invaded her home again. In fact this time it had invaded her whole life because Sirius surrounded her; newspapers, posters and whispers on the street. Every mention of his name seemed like an accusation against her, the one who had been taken in by him; desperate to believe she had someone left she could be proud of.

At first she assured herself that he would very quickly to caught, probably within days because she had never seen a man-hunt on this scale before. Sirius always did like to be the centre of attention. Then as days turned to weeks she comforted herself with the knowledge that there had at least been no murders yet and he had not come near her or her family. It was not that she had expected a visit from him but it was still an incredible relief. She was once again trying furiously to reconcile the memories of the boy she knew with the cold hearted killer he was now, trying to put Bella's cruel eyes into his laughing face and make them fit but the picture always looked wrong.

Weeks turned to months. Nymphadora qualified as an auror and Andromeda realised that she would be happier if no one ever heard from Sirius Black again, even if it meant that he would always be out there and always silently haunting her.

-

The next summer the rumours began. After the death at the Triwizard tournament people began to suggest that the past was about to repeat itself, that the Dark Lord was rising again. If Andromeda had been left to herself she would rather have buried her head in the sand but the week after Nymphadora came round to dinner and said that she believed the rumours and believed Albus Dumbledore. Ted was always the practical one and pointed out that the Ministry did not take the same view and they were Nymphadora's employers after all. Andromeda felt a chill running through her as Nymphadora admitted that she did not know what to do know, that by the time the Ministry faced up to the truth it could already be too late. Her daughter sounded unusually thoughtful and she did not like it and for nights afterwards she screamed in her sleep as she watched her daughter battling deatheaters. On good days they wore masks and hoods so all she could see of them were their blank eyes, but other times they all wore the face of the Dark Lord's most faithful servant, her favourite cousin.

Ironically the day she learned of Sirius' innocence was the day that her life started to slowly unravel. As their daughter sat before them, explaining Sirius' true story in a nervous voice, Andromeda could tell that Ted had not grasped what Nymphadora was also trying to tell them without actually saying the words. He beamed at his wife, aware of how close she had once been to her cousin and evidently thinking this was the best news they could have received. Andromeda wanted to cry or scream or maybe curse Albus Dumbledore. Her greatest fear had always been her daughter hunting down deatheaters but that was the moment when she learned that it would be the other way round. She could easily have cursed the Order of the Phoenix for putting her child on the frontline of their war.

Instead Andromeda called on her Black upbringing to force the tears from her eyes and simply pulled her daughter close to her. Once more there was no point in protesting. She herself had never done as her mother told her and she cannot ask the brave young woman in her arms not to fight for what she believes in. So she holds her child tight and whispers how proud she is.

-

From then on every knock at the door, every owl coming through the kitchen window brought the possibility of something terrible having happened, but once again the next bad news arrived in the form of the newspaper that once more managed to catch Andromeda by surprise. As she stared down at her sister's face the air around her seemed to freeze, choking her and burning against her skin. From that moment something inside her seemed frozen, waiting for the tragedy she just knew was coming.


	3. Part 3: The Second War Begins

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It was a beautiful, mild evening in early summer. Ted was abroad on business for a few days and so, left to her own devices, Andromeda had lingered in the garden, watching the fish swimming around the pond as the last rays of sunlight bounced off the surface of the water. The knock was only a faint sound out there away from the house, not even enough to shatter the stillness but it still sent ice flowing through Andromeda's blood. Ted was not due back for another two days and Nymphadora had not expected to get time off duty till the weekend, but if someone was here then something had to have gone wrong…

Remus Lupin and Kingsley Shacklebolt were standing on her doorstep. Afterwards she realised that her first fear must have shown plainly on her face because Lupin hastily assured her that her daughter was going to be alright, although she was currently in St Mungo's. Shacklebolt explained in a deep, calming voice that they were there to escort her to the hospital, hopefully before Nymphadora woke up.

It was strange, Andromeda thought, to be standing in her hallway with two men that she had never spoken more than a few words too but who she felt she knew better than many of her neighbours. Andromeda had been told nothing of Order business but she knew that Kingsley had been arrested by the Muggle police on his first case as an auror, while the week before Remus had stopped Nymphadora from falling down a staircase after she tripped over Mundungus Fletcher, who had fallen asleep on a landing after a session of drinking fire whiskey with Sirius.There was always warmth inNymphadora's voice when she spoke of the other Order members and Andromeda found some reassurance in the idea that these older witches and wizards cared for her daughter in return and saw her as more than simply a pawn on the battle field. Later she remembered the way they had treated their colleague's mother, helping her get her cloak on and holding open the doors for her though they both looked strained and weary themselves and she realised she had been right; they did care.

The journey took longer than seemed possible and Andromeda was desperate by the time she finally reached her daughter's bedside. Nymphadora seemed paler than ever against the white pillows and the usually vibrant hair that frustrated her mother had faded to a worryingly tame brown, with just a few defiant streaks of pink remaining. Of course she had probably looked worse when she arrived because by now the healers would have dealt with all the superficial cuts and bruises, but she still looked frighteningly lifeless and vulnerable. She was not alone though. The man waiting protectively by her daughter's bedside, also looking very much the worse for wear, was a familiar face. Andromeda had met the infamous Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody on many occasions throughout her daughter's training and it was a relief to have someone she knew there while Ted suddenly seemed to be so far away. While she greeted him Nymphadora's eyes seemed to stir slightly at the sound of her mother's voice and Andromeda would have liked to believe that she looked slightly more peaceful when they closed again, although that could have merely been wishful thinking.

Shacklebolt announced that he had to get back to the Ministry and as he said his goodbyes she could not help but notice him sharing significant looks with the other two men. When the door closed behind Shacklebolt, Lupin politely pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and Andromeda sat down and looked up at him expectantly. However, he seemed to be struggling for words and instead Mad-Eye stepped forward while Lupin turned to stare out of the window, hiding his face. By then she already knew what she was about to hear.

Mad-Eye was brief but uncharacteristically sympathetic. Andromeda started slightly when he told her that Sirius had ran forward to duel her daughter's opponent. The thought that a single person could have taken so much from her was terrifying and she squeezed her daughters hand just to reassure herself that Nymphadora was still there with her. In a trembling voice she asked what had happened to the deatheaters. It had to have been deatheaters she reasoned, because the battered appearance of the Order members suggested there had been a proper battle, perhaps the first of this new war. Man-Eye informed her that the majority of the deatheaters had been apprehended and Lupin interjected that Lucius Malfoy had been among them, just in case she could bring herself to care about the fate of her brother in law. She asked about the deatheater her daughter had fought and Lupin does not look her in the eye.

'I'm afraid she escaped.'

'She escaped? Oh of course she escaped!'

Andromeda found herself laughing shrilly and uncontrollably. There was no need to ask who 'she' was because in a way she had known all along that it would be her sister. Memories flashed through her head; Sirius and Bella always squabbling long before they had ever heard of Lord Voldemort, back when they had still been a family. Her manic laughter turned to sobs and the two men slipped out of the room, leaving her to bury her head in the blanket covering her daughter's still body.

Sometime later, when she had managed to calm herself, Lupin returned and handed her a mug of tea. He explained that Mad-Eye had gone home to rest but he himself was lucky enough to have come out of the battle in a slightly better state. In fact he looked fairly dreadful but Andromeda appreciated the offer he was making and gestured to a chair on the other side of the bed, glad of even a stranger's comfort. It had been so long since she had tried to be strong without Ted by her side that she thought she might have forgotten how and tried to calculate how long it would take the owl to reach him and how quickly he would be able to get back to her side.

Nymphadora finally woke up a few hours before dawn, looking around in confusion as though she had expected to be in her own room and could not understand why people were suddenly standing over her fussing. Andromeda thanked Lupin gratefully and he recognised the polite dismissal immediately and quickly made his goodbyes before Nymphadora could start asking questions. Andromeda waited as he left, pretending not to notice the way her daughter's eyes followed him, and when the door closed she sat back down and took her daughter's hand again. It was her duty to break the news and once upon a time she had been very good at doing her duty. She was going to find the words and hide the terror she felt inside; this was only the beginning.

---


	4. Part 4: Nearing the End

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For the first time in over twenty years Andromeda found herself sympathising with her mother. The screaming, pleading and tears were familiar but this time she was in her mother's place and she had to admit that it was hardly any more pleasant than it had been from the other side. Of course the difference, she thought, was that her mother had been a twisted, prejudiced Black while Andromeda believed she had her daughter's best interests at heart. Nymphadora had admitted that obviously no parent plans for their only child to marry a werewolf, but she had eventually let loose that famous family temper and shouted that she had thought Andromeda and Ted, of all people, would understand. The problem was Andromeda had understood far better than her daughter realised. She knew how cruel people could be, with their stares and whispers and the way you can walk into a room and have complete strangers turn their backs rather than look at you. She had fought to give her daughter a life without her mother's worries but now the girl was throwing it all back in her face without even realising what she was doing.

However, despite all the anger, Andromeda knew she had already lost. Nymphadora would know it too soon because eventually she would try to storm out of the house, the way she had done so many times before when they had fought about silly things like her hair or the boyfriends with the awful tattoos. They were at war now and Albus Dumbledore, their greatest hope, had just been murdered. Andromeda had already agreed to open their home to Sirius' godson and she was not naïve enough to think that sheltering the Boy Who Lived would not have consequences. She was far too scared to let her daughter walk out, walk away from her, with anger like this hanging between them. So she shouted and raged, knowing that in an hour's time she would be planning what to cook when they had Remus over for dinner the next week.

----

Andromeda did not know how to say goodbye. Ted had warned her weeks ago, when the Muggleborn Registration first came into effect, that he would have to leave eventually. It seemed terrible that he would be safer out on the run alone than at home with his family but she knew it was true. She could vividly remember the Ministry officials bursting into their home, remember lying on her living room floor and fixing her eyes on the family portrait above the fireplace, trying to keep her mind through the pain and find the strength to look her attackers in the eyes when lied. But then Ted was there beside her, screaming in pain with her and they had survived together. When he said he was going to leave she had argued and insisted she would go with him, only for him to refuse and insist she stay with their daughter. She knew he was trying to protect her but he knew her too well. Nymphadora was in the last few weeks of her pregnancy by then and she needed her mother more than ever. Ted knew that her daughter was the only thing that would persuade Andromeda let him go and there was nothing she could do about it.

That had been the most difficult goodbye she had said so far in her life, easily eclipsing the day she walked out of her childhood home for the last time. The three of them had stood in their hallway trying to put off the moment that had to come. Ted had shaken Remus' hand and asked him to take care of his family. Remus had promised then tactfully retreated upstairs, leaving the three of them alone with each other for the final time.

Afterwards they were lost. With red eyes and tear stained cheeks, the two women told each other that he will come back, neither of them believing each other nor themselves. A few months ago they had also sat here together, Andromeda holding her sobbing daughter, stroking her hair and insisting that Remus would come back. He had of course, as she had known he would, but this was different. Ted was facing not his own demons but the whole world they were living in which seemed to be against them, and it broke her heart that he had to do it alone. The news of his death was not a surprise but it felt like the end.

----

The baby was a boy. Teddy for the grandfather he would never know. Andromeda sat beside her daughter's bedside through the night while Remus paced and an old healer friend of Ted's tried to reassure them all. The woman was a kind but professional type and they were grateful she was there but Andromeda could not help but notice the way the woman left as soon as she could once the little boy had been placed in his mother's arms. It was impossible to tell whether it was revulsion or just fear that the Ministry would knock on the door at any moment. Either way the new parents were oblivious, exclaiming over the way the baby's hair already seemed to be changing. Andromeda stepped outside for a while to give the new family some time together. The first light of the day was shining on Andromeda's neglected garden and, feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks, she sat down and started to gently untangle her flowers from the tangled mass of green. Maybe they would be alright.

Later on Andromeda would treasure up the memories of the next few weeks. There was still a gaping hole beside her where Ted should have been but Nymphadora and Remus tried hard to keep her occupied with Teddy. For a few weeks it seemed as though the war could not touch their little family, as though they locked it out when they sealed the front door behind them. There was always a nagging feeling that their peace could not last but they tried their hardest to push it away. Later on, Andromeda would look back and promise Teddy that, despite everything, they had been happy.

----


	5. Part 5: After the Storm

_----_

_When the knock on the door finally comes Andromeda is so desperate that she can barely keep herself from running forward and flinging the door wide open, whatever the cost. Instead she reminds herself of her defenceless grandson sleeping in her arms and how she promised to protect him. She carries the Teddy into the nursery, places him in his crib and seals the room behind her. Then she raises her wand, walks silently down the hallway and pauses with her hand on the heavily enchanted lock._

She will open the door and only have a chance to see a flash of that awful pink as Nymphadora throws herself into her mother's arms. Remus will watch the reunion in silence, looking battle weary but still smiling in the way that magically makes him look so much younger. They will all go inside and wake up Teddy who will blink and screw up his face indignantly at them. She will make them all a nice pot of tea and describe how Teddy had both his grandfather's hair and smile for a few hours, and they were silly to stay out so long and miss it. But it will be alright because there will be plenty of other chances to see it, plenty of time.

_Time seems to pause for a moment and Andromeda's heart stops with it. She wants to pretend for a moment. She wants to be the little girl who believed her family would live happily ever after. But it is already too late because in her heart she already knows, even as she summons the last of her courage and opens the door to face the truth._

_Kingsley Shacklebolt is standing alone waiting, his eyes full of sorrow. _

----

Some part of Andromeda still wonders why the world could not have simply stopped turning at that moment. If she was a weaker woman she might have given up then but although the Blacks are known for many things, cowardice is not one of them. Andromeda has spent most of her life trying to escape from who she is, but she understands now that she will always be a Black at heart, just as her daughter was and just as Teddy is. Your own blood is something you can never leave behind, even when your name is not on the family tree but this realisation no longer frightens her. Her family have torn themselves and each other apart but something has ended now, died along with most of her family and despite everything Teddy has already lost, she knows he has the chance to grow up free from the nightmares of those who went before him.

Teddy has always been fascinated by his family. At first it was the photographs that had been there as long as he could remember. There were pictures of Ted and Andromeda stretching across thirty years of marriage, pictures from Dora's childhood and, his favourites, pictures of him as a baby with his doting parents, taken during those few precious weeks they had together. Later these were joined by other pictures Andromeda found; Sirius and Regulus as the children she used to baby-sit, followed by Remus and Sirius in their Hogwarts robes, eyes twinkling with mischief, and even some of those strange, unmoving photographs of Ted's muggle family. At first Andromeda worried that filling her house with images of the dead would not be healthy for her grandson, but Teddy was thrilled to be given faces to go with the names he had heard and she could not deny him that. In fact she wonders now if perhaps it was worse for her, because sometimes seeing those familiar faces around her home almost lets her pretend she is not the only one left.

Of course it was only a matter of time before the pictures were not enough for Teddy, just as they never could be for her. Next Teddy wanted stories, begged them from her and Harry and his parents' friends with a hunger that was heartbreaking to see. He once complained to his grandmother that it was not fair that Victoire had a huge family of her own while he just had to share hers. Andromeda did not how to explain to a five year old that life is sometimes horribly unfair, and so she just watched how he carefully turned his hair Weasley-red before any visit to his adopted aunts and uncles. The next summer she took him to Hogwarts for the first time. Teddy stood solemnly in the castle grounds, holding his grandmother's hand while she traced a finger over the names etched into the cold stone. Kingsley had been meticulous when it came to memorials and the lists covered not just those who died at Hogwarts that night but everyone lost throughout the Second War and even some less obvious casualties from much further back. Andromeda pointed out Teddy's parents, then the grandfather he was named for and finally Sirius and Regulus Black, side by side again at last. She is proud of her family at last, but this is the cost.

She has always tried to instil this pride into her grandson, almost like her mother once taught three little girls to be proud of a family tree on the wall of a gloomy room. In Teddy's case, it helps her task that he does not know about his entire family. There are things he is still far too young to hear, horrors that his parents died to keep him innocent of. When he is older though, she knows he has the right to know, even if might never truly understand. There is a small chest that has spent several decades locked in the attic of Andromeda's home and now it is carefully locked in a cupboard in her bedroom. To many people that would hardly seem like progress but to her it is a step that means a lot. She has opened it a few times over the years, mostly to slip in some particularly memorable editions of the _Daily Prophet, _but someday soon, when she is feeling just a little stronger, she is going to open the lid again and look through the contents properly. She does not know why she took so many mementos of her old life with her when she left her parents' house but she is glad of it now. Of course she has her memories, the ones that haunt her on her bad days and comfort her on others, but when Teddy is older she can show him what she has left of childhood.

Perhaps it is impossible for anyone who was not there to understand, but it seems very important that he knows that once upon a time the Blacks were a family. They can never go back to that time. She sees Cissy in Diagon Alley from time to time and they acknowledge each other with curt nods, two strangers left behind, with Bella's ghost hovering between them. Too much has happened for them to ever go back to who they were, but she knows that once upon a time she was one of three and her sisters were a part of her. She needs Teddy to know that she mourns that part of herself just like she mourns everything else she has lost.

…


End file.
